|By: Liz K - at May 31, 2013
How to Achieve Ultimate Happiness
Most people who are severely unhappy usually have had a bad
experience as a child. Unhappy people have a brain mechanism that interprets
most situations as problems and will hold in their emotions. Happy people
interpret these same situations as opportunities. A person's set point or their
out take on daily activities is responsible for 40% of their ultimate happiness.
Change your thoughts to ensure positive thinking. For
example: I may have been a victim in my past, but I don’t have to remain that
way. A good way to do this is through meditation. Deep breathing and relaxation
allows for deep thinking about one’s life.
Another way to release emotion is through creative
expression or the happiness of another person. In both situations a deeper level
of self is being accessed which can actually generate positive results that
could last a lifetime. Finding an activity you’re truly passionate about and
enjoy is a great release.
7 Ways to Change Your Outlook
1) Take responsibility for your present self: Give up the blame and guilt from the past. Take responsibility for yourself and
do not put your fate into someone else's hands. If you put the blame on another
person's shoulders, you are waiting for someone else to change so that your pain
can be alleviated. You could be waiting forever. Take matters into your own
hands and release the need to change anyone else. Focus on changing yourself.
2) Dissect what you're feeling: Witness your emotion without being used by
it. Try to think rationally with a clear mind. Condition yourself to feel the
same way over and over every time you're confronted with the same situation.
Locate where the feeling is in your body and learn to master it. When you have
these feelings locating them in your body can depress the inner mental voice
that keeps these feelings alive.
3) Label your feelings: Whatever feeling this is (anger, sadness,
depression, sexual tension, fear, frustration) give it a name. Don't use
judgmental words like betrayal, disappointment, or hurt- any word that implies
blaming someone else. Naming your feeling helps you recognize what you are
dealing with because you're being simple and truthful. You aren't falling for
the complicated story where strong emotions cloud our vision. Every story is
about one thing, the past. Your sensations and feelings are in the present.
4) Express what you feel: First, write it down. Then try to express this
situation from another person's point of view. Then again write the position
from a third person point of view as if you're not involved in the situation.
The emotion you're feeling begins to lose it's power. You've expanded your
awareness about these feelings and are beginning to understand them in a
different light. Everyone's first reaction is to get wrapped up in one point of
view, and that is their own.
5) Share what you feel: Share your feelings with someone you trust and feel
comfortable around whether it be a parent, a sibling, another family member, a
friend, or an outside source such as a therapist. Share the whole process and
your true feelings, including all three points of view. Don't just prolong
sharing your point of view. It’s very important to get the full spectrum
understanding of your feelings, to get to the root of the problem. Your aim is
to get a true reflection, which a good and caring listener will provide.
Ultimately this should give your some type of reflection and acceptance of the
6) Release the toxic feelings through rituals: Devise your own ceremony that
symbolically purifies your life of this particular emotion of "toxin.” Perform a
ritual (something safe such as throwing/putting away pictures, going for a run,
visiting somewhere or someone for the last time) that afterward will allow you
to say, "From this moment I'm free”.
7) Celebrate the release and move on: Honor your release through shared joy
and gratitude. You will be celebrating an ending and a new beginning. You are
validating that you deserve to be free and happy, which is a huge step! You are
leaving the past in the past and moving forward with your life. Everyone
deserves happiness and releasing these toxins from your body can give you that
opportunity again. Letting go of things that you cannot change is hard, but can
lead to your ultimate happiness.
Conditioning is a learned habit and must be done continuously to
be mastered. Do all seven steps until you feel you're skilled at recognizing
these emotions that pain you, witnessing them, sharing them, and then removing
the toxic energy from your body.
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