20 Surprising Facts About Divorce
While most people go into a marriage with the best of intentions, divorce is
a very likely outcome of most marriages no matter how hard people may try to
reconcile their vows. In the state of Ohio there were 67,606 marriages and
39,306 total divorces, according to 2011 figures. That's 58.1 divorces per 100
marriages for a divorce rate of 58.1%. In Ohio in 1990, there were 98,076
marriages and 53,504 divorces for a statewide divorce rate of 54.6%. The data
from Ohio is similar to data from other U.S. states and suggests that the
divorce rate has slowly been increasing. There is an attitude of marriage today
that is radically different than the attitude towards marriages that lasted many
years, and now less marriages truly live up to the terms, "till death do us
part".
With changing attitudes and perceptions aside, marriages can also be
doomed from the start; the only hope of solace coming from a divorce. Some of
the most common causes of these inevitable divorces are when people go into a
marriage with unrealistic expectations, get married for the wrong reasons, the
relationship loses its romance and the partners fall out of love, and possibly
disillusions as far as what their partner wanted in regard to the marriage also
contribute to these "divorce or bust scenarios". One
of the most common issues surrounding all divorces is unrealistic or
inappropriately founded expectations regarding the marriage and relationship.
Divorce has become just about as popular as marriage and although it is kind of
sad to consider, but divorce can be a very likely outcome for most marriages. Here
are some interesting facts and figures pertaining to divorce.
20) Having Twins or Triplets Increases Chances of Divorce
Having children increases the chances
of a successful marriage, but only slightly. Do you know if twins or multiple
pregnancies like even triplets or quadruplets is coded in your genetic
makeup? A multiple birth scenario unfortunately means that divorce may be much
more likely for a couple. The chances for divorce increase by 17% whenever twins
or triplets are brought into the marriage.
19) Age Matters (For Women)
When a husband is two years older than his bride, than the divorce rate is X.
When a woman is two years older than her husband, then the divorce rate is 53% +
X. When a woman is older than her husband, divorce statistics show a much higher
likelihood of divorce.
By Jennifer Pahlka
via Wikimedia Commons
18) Mistreating A Mother-in-law Isn’t Grounds for Divorce
While there are plenty of jokes about nightmare mother-in-laws, in Wichita,
Kansas legislation was created in order to help solve issues between mother-in-laws and their son-in-laws.
One weird
and alarming law states, "A woman can’t seek a divorce purely on the grounds
that her husband mistreats his mother-in-law.” Presumptions about the origin of
this legislation possibly come from a common belief that many mothers-in-law and
sons-in-law do not get along.
17) Adulterers Can Be Sued
In the states of Mississippi and New York, legal recourse exists such that a person can sue someone other than their
partner for causing their divorce. If the marriage ended directly because of an
affair, then the party who did not participate in infidelity has the right to sue the person
their partner engaged in an affair with. If the distressed party wins the legal
suit then like any civil legal dispute, they are entitled to damages. In these
states, the law sees a partner's infidelity as a direct cause of alienating any
original affection and basically at fault for the divorce just like placing
blame for a car accident.
By Kyjeff
via Wikimedia Commons
16) Smoking Increases the Likelihood of Divorce
Smoking is a always an issue as far as dating is concerned, and couples
regularly engage in arguments surrounding the smoking issue. Most people these
days along the the theme of healthier living, have learned to give up smoking
all together. In America, smoking and divorce statistics show that when one partner
in a marriage smokes while the other is a nonsmoker, then there’s a 75% chance that
the marriage
will end in divorce.
15) Couples in Republican States Are More Likely to Divorce
Studies have found that couples residing in states that are known to have
strong Republican values have a 27% higher chance of getting divorced than those
who live in states that are typically considered "blue states" or democrat
states. Its odd to see these numbers because often the
Republican party likes to identify itself as being stronger on family values
than
Democrats are but this is something that needs further examination. The truth
behind these numbers really has nothing to do with politics and really has to do
with marriage age of republican party members. Mostly couples who
strongly identify with the Republican party tend to marry much younger than
those who are affiliated with the democratic party. Statistics favor those who
get married at an older age, and factors like financial and job security also
favor age.
By Hydrox
via Wikimedia Commons
14) Couples in the Northeast Are Less Likely to Divorce
America’s western-located states, like California and Washington for example, generally have the highest rates of marriage and
divorce. Southern states have the second highest, relative rates of divorce. Northeastern states have the lowest divorce rates
according to the 2010 US Census Bureau, with New Jersey having the lowest divorce
figures. There is no solid indication for why New Jersey has a favorable
statistical distinction towards marriage. The state with the
highest divorce rate is Nevada.
Great Falls of the Passaic River in Paterson, New Jersey:
By Merle9999
via Wikimedia Commons
13) Men Suffer More Emotionally After Divorcing
There is a common pattern where women seem to struggle more financially
following a divorce, while men seem to recover better as far as financial
obligations are concerned. The flipside of occurrences like these has to do with
emotional damages that come from getting a divorce. As far as emotional issues
are concerned, men are said to suffer
significantly more than women. One indicator of emotional well-being has to do
with drinking alcohol excessively. Common traits are for more men to drink
during the aftermath of a divorce, while women will generally drink less than
they did while they were still married.
By David Shankbone
via Wikimedia Commons
12) Some People Will Remarry
While there have been a number of celebrities over the years who get divorced
only to get married again years later, this novelty isn’t restricted to public
figures. The average number of Americans that remarry a divorced spouse is
surprising higher than one might think. There is a 6% chance of divorced people
getting back together and remarrying the very same person they initially wanted
a divorce from.
11) Six Warning Signs for Imminent Divorce
There are six specific signs that married people should be concerned with, as they are
signs that a marriage is most likely headed for divorce. These signs include:
1. One or both parties fantasizing about a life without their spouse. 2. The
realization that the negative aspects of the marriage significantly outnumber
the positive. 3. Little-to-no communication between the partners. 4. The act of
being defensive and dismissive with their partner. 5. One partner believing that
they are the only one attempting to fix things. 6. The lack of intimacy. The
best advice here is to try to communicate feelings and concerns and address them
as they come up. This is much healthier instead of waiting days or years until the issues become so
gigantic, that they become irreconcilable.
Man and Woman Being Punished in Early Japanese Culture for Adultery:
10) Elderly Divorce is Becoming Common
The number of divorces for people over the age of 65 has doubled since 1980.
Figures like these really shows how prevalent divorce has become even among age
groups that have been traditionally identified as being incredibly serious about
matrimony. Currently, the oldest known ages for a divorced couple is 99 (husband) and 96
(wife). This elderly Italian couple divorced after 60 years of marriage. The husband initiated
the separation after discovering love letters between his wife and her lover,
from the 1940s. They were divorced in 2011.
9) Divorce Rates Don’t Improve in Second and Third Marriages
When people go through horrible divorces, many of them will get married
again and go into their next marriage believing that they will fare much better
the second time around. On paper this seems to be pretty sound logic. They will
most likely learn from any mistakes they made during their first marriage.
Taking what they have learned from the first marriage and applying it during a
subsequent marriage, they really should be able to make their next attempts at
romance really work. There is an unfortunate reality concerned with getting
married multiple times and examining figures from the United
States. The odds of making marriages work significantly decrease with each
attempt at formal romance. In the United States, 40% of first-time marriages end in divorce,
and the
chances of a divorce increases with each additional attempt at marriage. For
those engaging in a second marriage,
the chances of divorce increase to 60%, while 73% of third marriages will end in
divorce. Also the chances of displacing children becomes more and more of an
issue.
8) Divorce Was Easy For Men in Ancient Chaldea
In ancient Chaldea in order to officially get a divorce, a husband had to only write to his wife’s father stating
that he no longer wanted to be married to her. While the process was remarkably easy for men, if a woman ever tried to
divorce her husband, she would be drowned.
7) Native American Tribes and the Aztecs Didn’t Believe in Divorce
In some Native American tribes a man would be banished if he left his wife
without a “valid reason,” and among Native American cultures there were very few reasons
why a divorce would ever be considered.
Furthermore, in many tribes it used to be that a man could not, under any
circumstances, leave his wife if they had children. The duties to family and
children were seen as much more important then a man or woman's romantic
happiness. The ancient Aztecs also had similar views of marriage and the idea of
divorce, with divorces or dissolutions of marriage only granted in extreme cases
where mental illness issues or extreme abuses were occurring.
Aztec (left) and Mixtec (right) Brides Being Carried to the
Wedding:
6) Divorce is Illegal in Some Countries
In the Philippines, divorce continues to be illegal. Even if you were legally
divorced in a different country years earlier, it would not be legally
recognized by the Philippine government and unfortunately in the eyes of the law
you would still be married. Divorce is also illegal in the Republic of Malta, which is a country where the Vatican
(Catholic beliefs) has control. Due to Vatican influence the conception of
divorce is banished, and the specific faith a couple may believe in is
irrelevant; divorce is illegal for everyone.
Location of Malta and Malta's Capital City, Valletta:
Roman Empire Mosaic, Republic of Malta:
By Immaculate
via Wikimedia Commons
5) Divorce Used to be Common in Islam
The religion of Islam has a long tradition of permitting divorces over the
years, although divorce is considered to be one of the worst things a person could do
during their lifetime. During medieval times, members of Islam desired more and
more divorces as the crusades brought many unwanted marriages between Muslims
and the newly organized Christians. These marriages were often brought on by
force or through extortive techniques. However in most Middle Eastern countries today,
divorce rates are significantly lower than most modern European nations.
4) The Catholic Church Frowns on Divorce
The history of divorce throughout Western culture is in large part due to the
Catholic church and their staunch opposition to divorce. From the 13th century
onwards, people rapidly began abandoning the faith because of its hard-lined
views on marriage. That is, the church forbade divorce as it believed that the
only valid way a marriage could end was if either partner died. Much like today
in Western culture, people didn’t like the idea of life without the freedom to
choose to divorce if they so wished.
Promiscuity Greatly Alters People's Serious Considerations
of the Catholic Church's Opinions:
3) The Circumstances of the Catholic Church (In Theory) Approving Divorce
Despite the fact that the Catholic’s views are strongly against divorce,
there are actually some church laws that permit it under certain circumstances.
In 1 Cor 1:15, the Pauline Privilege specifies that divorce and remarriage are
permitted if a Catholic spouse has been abandoned by their non-Catholic partner.
Some other exceptions include: The marriage never being consummated and the wife
deciding to dedicate her life to God and become a nun. In such instances, the
church (at least in theory), may grant a divorce as it would be considered
favorable for the sake of the religion. Often couples have to attend
church-sponsored marriage counseling as a last ditch attempt of saving their
marriage. The pressing issues surrounding church sponsored divorces are
irreconcilable differences and when marriages are destroying the lives of the
people directly and indirectly involved.
Divorce Proceedings of Anna Gould (American heiress and
socialite) and the French nobleman Boni de Castellane who Sought Annulment from
the Vatican, Depicting Ridiculousness of Dealing with Catholic Church 1906:
2) Japan Has a Divorce Temple, Complete With a Divorce Toilet
At the Jorakuzan Mantokuji Temple in Japan, believers gather and make their desire for a
marital separation "officially" with their God. The formal procedure involves
formally writing out their desire to get a divorce on a piece of paper, then
taking that piece of paper and flushing it down a toilet. Fittingly, the temple
has an extensive history of providing refuge for women who were desperate to
escape a failing marriage and have nowhere else to turn.
Beautiful Statue at Jorakuzan Mantokuji Temple, Japan:
1) Divorce Was Common in Ancient Rome
Divorce was not only common in Ancient Rome, but it was also remarkably easy to
get one. It was usually the upper class members of society that even thought to
get divorced. A married couple had
only to declare (in front of seven eye witnesses) that they no longer wished to
be married. With the dissolution of the union, the woman would get back her
complete dowry – assuming that she wasn’t found to have committed adultery. If a
woman was believed to have committed adultery, then she would only receive half of her dowry. A man’s adultery was
considered of no significance when it came to the divorce, thus his fidelity had
no bearing on how much (or little) his former partner would receive.
Roman Couple Joining Hands with Bride's Belt Symbolizing
Her Husband was "Belted and Bound" to Her:
By Ad Meskens
via Wikimedia Commons
Conclusion
With the ability to get married easier than it has ever been before, the chances
are that more and more marriages are being rushed into and thus will end in
divorce. It seems that if nothing else this will ensure that the already curious
history of divorce and the strange circumstances that surround it will continue
for many years to come.
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